Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Toni's Review of Froggy Style: A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale by J.A. Kazimer - 4 Stars

Jean-Michel La Grenouille has a lot going for him. He’s a prince. Handsome. Filthy rich. And definitely charming. But he also spent his first few years as a fly-catching, pond-dwelling frog. All that saved him was the kiss of The One, the girl who saw nobility through his slimy form and fell into True Love. Okay, fine. Technically she was a toddler who tried to eat him, but whatever. The curse broke, and as long as he finds and marries her by his 30th birthday, he’s a free man.

Trouble is, he’s going to be 30 in ten days, and he’s getting some seriously cold-blooded feet. He’s pretty sure Princess Sleeping Beauty is The One. But his best man has some villain issues, his in-laws-to-be belong in a really special castle, and a smoking-hot lady biker named Lollie Bliss has him rethinking all this happily-ever-after stuff. Oh, and he may have accidentally put out a hit on his blushing bride. Oopsie.

Here is a sample of what to expect: Froggy Style Excerpt

OK. I know I had this in my first review of Curses, but I forgot I did and then I went and mentioned how the book compares to SNL in this review.  Maybe it was my sub conscience, but this is Ms. Kazimer's fairy tale universe.  In all it's screwed up glory!  I just had to share it again.

J.A. also has a few contests going on at her website:  Kissing Frog Sweepstakes & Kiss a Frog Photo Contest so stop by and enter!!


Take one froggy prince and a sleepy princess.  Add in screwed up family members, a trashed fairy godmother, a matchmaking cockroach and an acrimonious yet strangely loyal manservant and you have the start to a really messed up story.  Watch out Saturday Night Live, Ms. Kazimer may have you beat in the hilarious skit category. 

First he was a frog and then he wasn’t, but if he doesn’t get his act in gear, he will be a frog again.  Jean-Michel La Grenouille must find the woman that broke his froggy curse twenty-two years ago and he has only ten more days to accomplish it.  His fairy godmother believes it is the stunning Sleeping Beauty.  The prince has his doubt that the sleepy, flannel wearing woman is his One, but hey he needs to trust his wand welding granny.

At this point I usually write about the heroine in the story, but I can’t.  There are more than one love interests in the story and they can be pretty much summed up in a few words…borderline psychotic, rude, whiney, with whips for tongues.  They sometimes encompass one or ALL of those traits.  When you think of princesses you think of loving, beauties with hearts of gold.  Well in this convoluted fairy tale we visit the world of opposites.  Oh how sweet it is!

I really can’t go off on the women of the story without pointing out that Jean-Michel, aka Kermit *insert snicker*, is not your normal handsome prince.  He may be gorgeous, rich and at times charming, but all in all, to put it plain and simple, he is an asshat.  He is egotistical, selfish, conceited and at times a complete idiot.  Not your normal portrayal of a Disney type prince.

Kermit, needs to save Beauty.  On a drunken night out with his ex-best buddy, it appears he may have put out a hit on his beloved.  She is his last hope to remain human, so he sets out with his faithful manservant Karl, to find the hit man and to protect Beauty.  Along the way he meets Lollie.  She knocks him off out of his fancy Ferragamos.  She is everything Beauty is not.  She is awake…no wait, she is a lot like Beauty; vicious, gorgeous and a touch crazy.  She’s perfect.  Now all he has to do is fight his lustful feelings for Lollie, find the mysterious hit man, stop someone from killing him and then finally force himself down the aisle to marry his sleepy bride.  Whew and all in less than 10 days.  Easy-peasy!

First off I will say I loved the first in the series, Curses.  Loved, loved, loved it!  I only really, really, really liked Froggy Style.  Ms. Kazimer’s humor was still amazing.  She can write one line zingers like nobody’s business.  Her writing is fast, quirky and is truly hilarious.  How she can twist such long loved innocent fairy tales into this twisted perverse alternate universe, I will never know.  So what happened to my love-fest you ask?  I’m not really sure.  I could be in a princess kind of mood, or I just didn’t click the whole 100% like last time.  It’s more like 90%.  I still had snort out loud moments, and the way she can tell a story is beautifully unique.

If you want a good hearty laugh, Froggy Style is for you.  You cannot be easily offended though.  No matter the sex, race, heritage, sexual orientation, height or even inability to grow hair; nothing is safe or sacred in the hands of Ms. Kazimer.  She is brilliant in her ability to screw with everything and not take anything serious, except her ability to be seriously funny.  This is a raunchy, light hearted, fun read.  There is no meaning to life, heart pounding romance or insightful a-ha moments.  I compared her to SNL skits above and I can’t say it enough.  She would fit right in with that group and make everyone laugh.  So, if you are uptight, staunchy, proper, snooty and just no fun to be around, you will not like this book.  You have been warned!  Otherwise, if you are like me, you’ll enjoy it for what it’s worth; a hysterical escape, with great adult humor and characters you are glad you don’t know in real life.  They are downright scary at times!

Wanna know what I loved about Curses?  Check it out here!

Thanks for reading - Toni

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