Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Toni's Review of Froggy Style: A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale by J.A. Kazimer - 4 Stars

Jean-Michel La Grenouille has a lot going for him. He’s a prince. Handsome. Filthy rich. And definitely charming. But he also spent his first few years as a fly-catching, pond-dwelling frog. All that saved him was the kiss of The One, the girl who saw nobility through his slimy form and fell into True Love. Okay, fine. Technically she was a toddler who tried to eat him, but whatever. The curse broke, and as long as he finds and marries her by his 30th birthday, he’s a free man.

Trouble is, he’s going to be 30 in ten days, and he’s getting some seriously cold-blooded feet. He’s pretty sure Princess Sleeping Beauty is The One. But his best man has some villain issues, his in-laws-to-be belong in a really special castle, and a smoking-hot lady biker named Lollie Bliss has him rethinking all this happily-ever-after stuff. Oh, and he may have accidentally put out a hit on his blushing bride. Oopsie.

Here is a sample of what to expect: Froggy Style Excerpt

OK. I know I had this in my first review of Curses, but I forgot I did and then I went and mentioned how the book compares to SNL in this review.  Maybe it was my sub conscience, but this is Ms. Kazimer's fairy tale universe.  In all it's screwed up glory!  I just had to share it again.

J.A. also has a few contests going on at her website:  Kissing Frog Sweepstakes & Kiss a Frog Photo Contest so stop by and enter!!


Take one froggy prince and a sleepy princess.  Add in screwed up family members, a trashed fairy godmother, a matchmaking cockroach and an acrimonious yet strangely loyal manservant and you have the start to a really messed up story.  Watch out Saturday Night Live, Ms. Kazimer may have you beat in the hilarious skit category. 

First he was a frog and then he wasn’t, but if he doesn’t get his act in gear, he will be a frog again.  Jean-Michel La Grenouille must find the woman that broke his froggy curse twenty-two years ago and he has only ten more days to accomplish it.  His fairy godmother believes it is the stunning Sleeping Beauty.  The prince has his doubt that the sleepy, flannel wearing woman is his One, but hey he needs to trust his wand welding granny.

At this point I usually write about the heroine in the story, but I can’t.  There are more than one love interests in the story and they can be pretty much summed up in a few words…borderline psychotic, rude, whiney, with whips for tongues.  They sometimes encompass one or ALL of those traits.  When you think of princesses you think of loving, beauties with hearts of gold.  Well in this convoluted fairy tale we visit the world of opposites.  Oh how sweet it is!

I really can’t go off on the women of the story without pointing out that Jean-Michel, aka Kermit *insert snicker*, is not your normal handsome prince.  He may be gorgeous, rich and at times charming, but all in all, to put it plain and simple, he is an asshat.  He is egotistical, selfish, conceited and at times a complete idiot.  Not your normal portrayal of a Disney type prince.

Kermit, needs to save Beauty.  On a drunken night out with his ex-best buddy, it appears he may have put out a hit on his beloved.  She is his last hope to remain human, so he sets out with his faithful manservant Karl, to find the hit man and to protect Beauty.  Along the way he meets Lollie.  She knocks him off out of his fancy Ferragamos.  She is everything Beauty is not.  She is awake…no wait, she is a lot like Beauty; vicious, gorgeous and a touch crazy.  She’s perfect.  Now all he has to do is fight his lustful feelings for Lollie, find the mysterious hit man, stop someone from killing him and then finally force himself down the aisle to marry his sleepy bride.  Whew and all in less than 10 days.  Easy-peasy!

First off I will say I loved the first in the series, Curses.  Loved, loved, loved it!  I only really, really, really liked Froggy Style.  Ms. Kazimer’s humor was still amazing.  She can write one line zingers like nobody’s business.  Her writing is fast, quirky and is truly hilarious.  How she can twist such long loved innocent fairy tales into this twisted perverse alternate universe, I will never know.  So what happened to my love-fest you ask?  I’m not really sure.  I could be in a princess kind of mood, or I just didn’t click the whole 100% like last time.  It’s more like 90%.  I still had snort out loud moments, and the way she can tell a story is beautifully unique.

If you want a good hearty laugh, Froggy Style is for you.  You cannot be easily offended though.  No matter the sex, race, heritage, sexual orientation, height or even inability to grow hair; nothing is safe or sacred in the hands of Ms. Kazimer.  She is brilliant in her ability to screw with everything and not take anything serious, except her ability to be seriously funny.  This is a raunchy, light hearted, fun read.  There is no meaning to life, heart pounding romance or insightful a-ha moments.  I compared her to SNL skits above and I can’t say it enough.  She would fit right in with that group and make everyone laugh.  So, if you are uptight, staunchy, proper, snooty and just no fun to be around, you will not like this book.  You have been warned!  Otherwise, if you are like me, you’ll enjoy it for what it’s worth; a hysterical escape, with great adult humor and characters you are glad you don’t know in real life.  They are downright scary at times!

Wanna know what I loved about Curses?  Check it out here!

Thanks for reading - Toni

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

BOOK GIVEAWAY & Toni's Review of Hearts of Darkness by Kira Brady - 3.5 Stars

In the first of a dazzling new romantic trilogy, one woman’s courageous search plunges her into a millennia-old supernatural war—and an irresistible passion…

Nurse Kayla Friday has dedicated her life to science and reason. But for her, Seattle is a place of eerie loss and fragmented, frightening memories. And now the only clue to her sister’s murder reveals a secret battle between two ancient mythologies…and puts Kayla in the sights of lethally-sexy werewolf mercenary Hart. He’ll do whatever it takes to obtain the key to the Gate of the Land of the Dead and free what’s left of his soul. But seducing the determined Kayla is putting them at the mercy of powerful desires neither can control. And as the clock ticks down to hellish catastrophe, the untested bond between Kayla and Hart may lead to the ultimate sacrifice.


Ms. Brady did a very fine job on her first novel.  There were a few bumps; some small, some big, but all-in-all, a very entertaining read.

Kayla is light and Hart is dark.  She is a healer and he is a killer.  Put these two together and something special is made.

Kayla has returned to Seattle to expose her sister’s murderer.  From the very start, things aren't what they seem.  Seattle is not the city she expected; shadows are everywhere, buildings are crumbling, electricity is sparse and even more questions arise the moment her eyes are set upon her sister’s dead body.  Unknown to her, her life is going to be thrown into a world she never heard about and to her surprise, a world that she was forever to be a part of.

Hart is bound and determined to get free from his blood bond.  Only two more jobs and he will be a free man.  His plans of running in the wilds are derailed the moment he sets his rifle scope on Kayla’s face.  She sparks something in him that makes his wolf sit up and take notice.  He is too close to fail now and he will not let one woman ruin his plans.

Warring factions, prophetic futures and raising passions have forced these two to work together.  Can they trust each other?  Can they save the world?  Can they find solace in each other’s arms?  With time ticking away, neither have time to think on their choices or the consequences.  All they can do is hope for the best.

Hearts of Darkness is a hard novel for me to rate.  The plot is fascinating, the characters have been developed nicely, the setting is chilling and the book as a whole is rather well written.  I really liked the idea behind the book, but what I didn’t like was inconsistencies in the story telling. 

I have to admit first off that I’m a stickler for continuity and reasoning.  There were several areas in the book that something would be clearly stated and then a page or so down the road it would be contradicted and then explained away even further in the book.  If the order of the story telling would have been laid out better, I believe a better product would have been achieved.

To not give any spoilers I’ll just use one example:  The villain states that the dragons can’t have children; why I won’t divulge.  But his mistress was pregnant.  He also states that while he is very old, well over a century, he has a brother that is two hundred years old.  So wait…they CAN have children?  Much later in the book the reasoning was explained, but if the subject came up, prior to the explanation, I was sent back into confusion.  What it turned out to be was that they can’t have children within their species.  Yes, I know a minor spoiler, but this type of problem popped up more than once.  Make a rather important statement, contradict it and then explain the real reason much later.  It was very frustrating.  When this type of problem came up, it yanked me away from the novel and made me engage my brain to think it out, when it should have been lost in the storytelling.

I do have to say, I am rather interested in the base story.  I have not read many steam punk or apocalyptic type novels, but I enjoyed how these two ideas were merged.  When I think of the genres, steam punk is set in the past and apocalyptic in the future, but Ms. Brady gave it a very contemporary feeling.  She also did a great job with her imagery and the premise of the trilogy is superb. 

For her debut novel, I give her two thumbs up and I foresee with time, patience and hard work, her storytelling will only get better.  I have very high hopes for this author and I will keep an eye out for her future works.

Thanks for reading! - Toni


Up for grabs is a brand new ARC copy

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Monday, February 11, 2013

FREE eBOOKS - The Herald of Autumn by Irrational Worlds

FREE eBooks!!!

Yes, you read that right.  Irrational Worlds is offering TWENTY copies of 
The Herald of Autumn 
for FREE!!

There is no obligation, but if you like what you read, please write a review and spread the word.  The more people you tell, the better.

 Word Count - 30,002
Publication date - October 2, 2012
File -.mobi
Genre - Mythic Fantasy
Reading Level - Adult
Heat - Low, poetic sexuality. No profanity

Mythology lives.
It breathes.
It walks the land.

Tommy Maple is a fae - the Herald of Autumn, one of the last of his kind. Every year, with the dawn of fall, he awakens, to again wander the land. Wherever he goes, red leaves and cold wind follows him, and wherever he goes- he hunts. In this young adult fantasy, there are things unseen in the world of men, strange fairy tale things that live in the cracks between places. It is Tommy's place to hunt them, protecting us from the darkness that we cannot see.

As the Untold Age dawns, he is one of the few fae creatures that remains in our world. Creatures borne and breathing stories, fairy tales and magic, and now their age is at an end.

This Autumn , however, is different from those in the past. Tommy awakens to the taunting of an age-old enemy, and is powerless before him. Soon, a sinister tale unfolds- a story that spans centuries and the entire continent, and ends with horror -laden, one bone chilling point.

The Untold Age isn't coming- it's already here.

It's fae harbingers walk the land.

Now Tommy faces a horror unlike anything he has ever faced before. But soon it is obvious that even the last fairy tale cannot stand against the cold horror that comes, and Tommy learns that perhaps, the end is in fact inevitable. Soon, he and his kind may be only mythology.

The Untold Age comes.

To get your free copy please follow this link:

Be sure to hurry.  Irrational Worlds have twenty (20) copies available and you don't want to miss your chance.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013


We have a fun filled post today!

We have the lovely Angela Roquet with us today.  She is sharing information about herself and her series - Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc.  Not to mention we get to be introduced to her cast AND a kick butt giveaway!!  

Welcome, can you tell us a little about yourself how long you've been writing?

I originally wanted to be a cartoon animator. When I was twelve, I was convinced that my future was with Walt Disney or Cartoon Network. I’ve been writing as long as I can remember, but most of my work was accompanied by illustrations or storyboards of how I envisioned things on the big screen. In high school, I had an English teacher tell me that I should consider writing novels. So off and on for the next four years I wrote, and when I when I turned 21, I had a finished novel that was roughly 500 pages long. It was called “Rea and the Temple of Muses.” It was high fantasy, and it was at that point that I decided I seriously wanted to be a writer. My current series started out as a short story I wrote a year later for a contest. It was about what a day in the life of Death might look like, complete with a glimpse of the afterlife where souls were delivered. I had a friend read it, and he told me it was an awful short story, but a great introduction to a series. In October of 2009, I published “Graveyard Shift” the first installment of “Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc.” In the following years, I moved across the country, got married, had a baby, and went back to college to finish my degree. So it wasn’t until August of 2012 that book 2 “Pocket Full of Posies” was published. Things are a little more stable in my life right now, so I’m shooting for April of 2013 for the release of book 3 “For the Birds.” I have at least a dozen novels planned for the series, and several stand-alone projects in the works.

Can you share anything your readers would be surprised to know about you?

I still work a day job as a freelance graphic designer, and I actually designed my own book covers and website.

Who is your favorite author?

Do I really have to choose one? I adore MaryJanice Davidson. Her books are clever and sexy, and her style is just so much fun. I still can’t believe she wrote a review for my first novel. There are really so many authors I could list as favorites. Laurell K. Hamilton, Jim Butcher, Kim Harrison, Charlaine Harris, Christopher Moore… the list goes on and on.

Where does your inspiration for a new book come from?

Since my series is primarily set in a fictional and eclectic afterlife, I find a lot of inspiration in various religious texts when I’m doing research. As a writer, I believe there is inspiration to be found in everything. Every book, every movie, every painting, every conversation or encounter… it is all good to draw from when writing.

We would love for you to paint a picture for us of you writing your books.  Do you always write in your office?  Do you ever go outside on a beautiful day and write there?  Are you listening to music when you write?  Drinking wine?  Do you do your best work during the day?  At night?

I have a pretty kick-ass office. I’m quite proud of it, and I have pictures posted on my Facebook page. I’d like to say that I spend long hours writing at my fancy desk, that I designed and built with the help of my husband, surrounded by my library of favorite books. But really, I do most of my typing in my living room while my son is watching Curious George or napping. Sometimes, if I have trouble sleeping, I will stay up and type with a glass of wine. I do love music, but when I’m typing I usually stick to the instrumental tunes. I’m also a singer, so my mind instantly clings to lyrics, and I find that distracting when I’m searching for the next words to type.

Can you share a little of your current work with us?

I’m in the midst of book 3, and I’ve been doing research lately on Norse mythology. I’m considering bringing Loki and Oden into the story. I’ve also been researching the three Fates, since Lana will be getting an inside look at their soul processing factory in Limbo City in this book.

In Twitter fashion use 140 characters or less, sum up “Graveyard Shift” for us.

Lana Harvey is a reaper. She lives in Limbo City, where Hell keeps trying to break loose, and she’s just been hired to stop it.

If you could pick one actor to portray Lana Harvey on the big screen who would it be and why?

It would be easy to pick Angelina Jolie or Milla Jovovich. I love them both and I think they would both make an excellent Lana, but honestly, when I’m writing Lana, I see and hear Christina Ricci in my head. She really nails the bored, dry humor that Lana portrays at times, and she has that dark, exotic vibe about her.

Was there anything you found particularly challenging when writing this book?

Oh, gawd, the research. So, so much research. You really wouldn’t expect a fictional novel to require so much. I had originally thought about writing a vampire series, but so many writers are doing that, and doing it well. I was afraid that I would get lost in the mix. I had taken a world religions course in college and found it fascinating, so I thought that I would incorporate that into my setting by creating an afterlife where all the heavens and hells existed as territories, and the deities had to coexist and rule together in harmony. I had no idea what I was in for. I am quite pleased with the outcome though, and I would do it all over again.

The Inferno has Evolved…

Lana Harvey is a reaper, and a lousy one at that. She resides in Limbo City, the modern capital of the collective afterlives, where she likes to stick it to the man (the legendary Grim Reaper himself) by harvesting the bare minimum of souls required of her. She’d much rather be hanging out with Gabriel, her favorite archangel, at Purgatory Lounge. But when a shocking promotion falls in her lap, Lana learns something that could unravel the very fabric of Eternity. If the job isn’t completed, there could be some real hell to pay.

Not Your Grandma's Afterlife…

The promise of peace in Limbo City is threatened once again, but this time the terrorists have a more specific target in mind: Lana Harvey. The up and coming reaper thought passing her classes at the Reaper Academy was going to be her biggest challenge, but when a rebel demon sends her apartment up in flames, she realizes that her victories from the previous year haven’t gone so unnoticed after all…

To make matters worse, the Afterlife Council has taken notice of Lana too. The Egyptian god Horus is blackmailing her into joining the Posy Unit so she can do an illegal side job for him, and Cindy Morningstar, Lucifer’s daughter, insists that she take a two week training course with the devilishly tempting Beelzebub, much to her angelic boyfriend’s chagrin.

Now let's meet the Cast!!

My name is Lana Harvey, and I live in Limbo City, the capital of the afterlife. I’m a reaper, and I’m three centuries old. That might sound ancient to a human, but over here in the afterlife, I’m just a pup. I hate my job, but it’s not like I have many options. I get by doing as little as possible, and I like to bend the rules for souls that make my job less boring, although my sailing partner, Josie, lectures me whenever I do. The rest of my time is spent hanging out with my best friend, the archangel Gabriel, at Purgatory Lounge. However, another angel has had his eye on me lately. Maalik makes me nervous, but I have to admit, I am curious as to what he’s doing in Limbo City, especially after Grim promoted me to a high risk assignment. What’s happening to my boring little supernatural existence?

My name is Gabriel. Yes, that Gabriel. I’ve been busting my halo for thousands of years, and it’s finally started to take a toll these past few centuries. Limbo City is just the break I needed from the Heavenly Hosts and their holier than thou, highest of the high, high society. I’ve made some friends Peter doesn’t approve of, but I don’t care. What’s he going to do? Lana has a good heart, and she knows how to have a good time. Plus, she always lends me her couch when I’m in Limbo. This new job Grim’s given her has me worried, but the attention she’s been receiving from that goody-two-shoes, Maalik, is bothering me even more.

My name is Josie Gala. I’m a seventh generation reaper, which means I’m a whole century older than Lana. Not that she cares about that, or anything else from what I can tell. I know she means well, but the fact that we own a ship together makes me feel responsible when she screws up and takes a soul to the wrong heaven or hell. I thought being sailing partners with her would be fun. We have a blast shopping together, and she knows how I like my coffee. Besides that, she’s one of the few reapers I can trust, since I know she won’t double-cross me in order to advance. Lana doesn’t care about advancing. At least, I didn’t think she did. Which is why I’m a little confused about the promotion Grim recently gave her. That promotion should have been mine.

My name is Maalik. I am the keeper of hellfire who guards the fiery gates of Jahannam for Allah. My existence has been a gloomy one, so far away from my master, but my diligence has paid off. I have been reassigned. Limbo City is not Jannah, but it has its own kind of allure. Especially since that is where Lana Harvey resides. I knew something was different about that reaper the moment I first saw her. I have to keep her safe. The future of Eternity, as well as my heart, lies in her hands now.

Without further ado....ANGELA!

Urban Fantasy Author Angela Roquet is a great big weirdo. She collects Danger Girl comic books, owls, skulls, and random craft supplies. She no longer collects paperback books, because she can’t fit any more in her office, however she does collect ebooks. She has an unhealthy obsession with television shows created by Joss Whedon and fantasizes about him directing television or film versions of her novels. Angela’s favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz, and her favorite book is Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. She likes a little coffee in her cream, and her favorite food is sushi, even though it’s takes her FOREVER to make. Angela is a peace loving, tree hugging hippy who tries to buy organic and local as often as possible. She’s a fan of renewable energy sources, marriage equality, and religious tolerance. As long as whatever you’re doing isn’t hurting anyone, she’s a fan of you, too. Angela lives in Sedalia, Missouri with her husband and son. When she’s not swearing at the keyboard, she enjoys painting, goofing off with her family and friends, and reading books that raise eyebrows. You can find Angela online at www.angelaroquet.com

All Across the Interwebs...


Angela is giving away FOUR prize packages.

1 - Signed copies of Graveyard Shift & Pocket Full of Posies
3 - Kindle ecopies of Graveyard Shift & Pocket Full of Posies

Signed copies giveaway is open US ONLY!
Kindle copies is open WORLDWIDE!!
(Must have an Amazon account)

Many entry chances are available.  By entering the giveaway you are agreeing to the terms outlined in the Rafflecopter widget.

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If you hurry, you can head on over to her website and enter her other giveaway.  Ends this Thursday, so hurry on up!! 


Up for grabs: $20 Amazon card, a drinking glass from Purgatory Lounge (the fictional bar in the book series), and a Kindle ebook of Graveyard Shift